By these characteristics, it is apparent how each side makes its case. Both candidates are increasingly feted for their qualifications to be president, even though neither is worthy of worship and both are far from ideal candidates; some number of their followers see any criticism of their chosen candidates as "lies" and "right wing talking points," no matter how constructive and fair the criticism is (though, in fairness, sometimes it really is lies and right wing talking points); both candidates constantly ask their supporters for financial support (not really "exploitation" so much as it is part of the electoral system, but whatever).
But while it is apparent that some number of the supporters of each of the remaining Democratic candidates do appear to fit the definition of cult followers, they are by far the minority, even among the highly committed. Most supporters of both candidates are more than willing to listen to reasoned criticism. It is unfortunate that the obnoxious few are louder than most, but a handful of screaming ninnies usually don't outweigh a large number of rational people who are willing to press forward and refuse to be intimidated.
Further, as social psychologists have noted for decades, the methods used by cults to recruit, indoctrinate, and influence members are only more intensely applied techniques of persuasion used by everyone in our day-to-day lives. You want to call someone to task for "drinking the Kool Aid" because they support a candidate other than the one you prefer? Look in the mirror -- the process by which you insist on the rightness of your choice is reflected by your opponent. And in this case, in the case of the process of deciding who will represent us in the general election in November, there is little objective truth to separate whichever candidate you prefer from the candidate you don't prefer.
So, if we're going to be hearing about cults here, let's at least make it honest. Let's make it based on reality. Let's make it funny.
And so I give you a tome I produced not two months prior to the midterm elections, slightly modified for more current context.
n the beginning, Al Gore created the internets. And KOS saw that the internets were unformed and void, a vast wilderness of garbage and Republican talking points; amazingly, no tubes were to be found. And he said, "Let there be a blog." And there was a blog. KOS saw that the blog was good, and KOS separated the light from the darkness. KOS called the light "commentary" and the darkness he called "ignorance," which is also known as the Republican platform. And there was evening and there was morning, a first day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And KOS said, "Let there be diaries in the expanse of the blog, that in-depth commentary might be separated from short mockeries, satires, and pootie pictures." And it was so. The kossacks brought forth diaries, commenting on every topic under the sun. And KOS saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And KOS said, "The strength of a diary is often in the response it elicits. Let there be comments attached to the diaries: long comments, short comments, in-between comments. Let users remark upon their impressions of the diaries." And it was so. The bloggers engaged in all manner of discussion regarding the relative merits and faults of the diaries, and KOS saw that this was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a third day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And KOS said, "Some diaries are more appealing than others. They are better written; they are more informative; they are more progressive; they have better cookie recipes. Let there be a recommend button and a recommended list, so that bloggers can make a sign to each other which diaries are the best and encourage each other to read the best diaries and contribute more to the comments therein." And it was so. And a list emerged with the eight diaries accruing the highest rates of recommendations at any one time, and the list encouraged greater traffic to the most popular and most important diaries. And KOS saw that it was good. And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And KOS said, "Lo, though we now have a sort of rating system for diaries, we need such a system for comments. Let bloggers rate the comments as well. And as they accrue mojo from sufficient quality and quantity of participation, let the kossacks become trusted users as well, that they may hide particularly offensive comments from public view." And it was so. The bloggers began to rate comments from 1 to 4, and as they accrued mojo, some were even able to rate comments from 0 to 4. And comments that were deemed offensive by the community were hidden from view by the trusted users. And KOS saw that it was mostly good, though there were some problems. Yea, there was a pie fight, wherein the bloggers used pastry for unpeaceful purposes. And KOS saw that it was a problem, and he said, "Let the comment rating system become binary, such that a user may either recommend or troll rate a comment; let there be no more 3's, or 2's, or even 1's. And let there be a limit to how many 0's a trusted user may dispense in a day." And most bloggers responded by using their weapons of culinary warfare for dessert making, and they consumed their pastries together in brotherhood and sisterhood. And KOS saw that it was good, if a little fattening. And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And KOS said, "Let us remake the Democratic Party in our own image. Let the people take back their government from their leaders, who know them not and care about them even less. Let there be an end to government corruption, and payola-to-play, and tax breaks to corporate cronies who post record profits while bilking the American people. Let us remind the Democratic Leadership Council, hereafter and forevermore to be known as the Republican Enabling Losership Council, that they serve at the pleasure of the American people, and that the American people do not serve them or owe them anything. Let Democrats stand up to the abuses of the evil regime of the man named for a shrub with an IQ to match. Let us remind the American people and the world that dissent is imperative in a healthy democracy, that it is not indicative of treason, that '9/11' is not a sufficient defense for the abrogation of civil liberties, that torture isn't an American value, and that all people are accountable under the law." And the people heard his call. And they supported grassroots candidates and ran for office themselves. And they defeated some of the Titans of Defeatism in primaries, including recently a man named Joementum, who insists he is a Democrat, though he ran in the general election as a Republican Enabling Losership Councilmember. And lo, the people took back Congress that November, no thanks to Joementum, though Harry and Nancy continue not to realize it. And KOS saw that it was very, very good. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day. But not a literal day, for we are not fundamentalists.
And yea, there have been tragedies caused by the idiocy and reckless disregard for human life displayed by the evil regime of the man named for a shrub with an IQ to match. Though they knew the storm to be raging and the flood to be coming, they failed to warn the people of the grand city called New Orleans in time; they failed to act to save the people who could not save themselves; and when the immediate natural danger was over, they created new dangers every bit as fatal. And lo, these many months later, tens of thousands of the victims of the Great and Terrible Deluge remain homeless, and many are still missing. And yea, as the evil regime of the man named after a shrub with an IQ to match endeavors to build idols to honor their hero Ray-Gun, their justifications for their behavior in such hero worship while preventing the kind of research that might have saved the life of their departed hero remain undecipherable to the remainder of the world, as though they were babbling. And yea, though the evil regime of the man named after a shrub with the IQ to match and his political party claim to be compassionate adherents to Christian values, their actions reveal nothing but contempt for the poor (to whom the kingdom of heaven is entrusted), mourners of the victims of their Immoral and Illegal war in Iraq (who must be comforted), the hungry (who must be satisfied), those persecuted for their genuine righteousness (to whom, like the poor, the kingdom of heaven is entrusted), the meek (who shall inherit the earth), the merciful (who shall obtain mercy), the pure of heart (who see God), and most of all the peacemakers (who are called the children of God).
Fear not! Though there are dark days ahead of us, the time of the Democratic president is nigh. For so long as KOS is your shepherd, you shall not want. He shall lead you to green pastures unspoiled by toxic waste and still waters unpolluted by industrial malfeasance. He restores the soul of the Democratic Party and leads us in righteousness for the sake of the American people and the world. Yea, though we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of BushCo, sponsored by Halliburton (which is far worse than the Valley of the Shadow of Death), we shall fear no evil, for KOS is with us. His blog comforts us. He and Howard Dean set a table for us before our enemies. They seek viable alternatives to foreign oil, and economic prosperity for all Americans, not just billionaires. May only good, kindness, and positive mojo pursue you all the days of your life, and you will dwell at Daily KOS for all time, for as a certain troll once learned to her consternation, your account will not be deleted.
